Dear Michael Bay- I hate you. A lot. I realized that this is because while I think science is a wonderful thing, you made a little movie called "Armageddon". Plus, your movies cost millions of dollars and still give me cerebral hemorrhages. Really bad ones, too. Money can't buy quality, apparently. I'm fairly certain I could make a better movie than you could using only Transformers 2's script printing budget. Let me know when you cut the check and trust me, you won't miss the money. You've got enough, ten thousand times over. It's not me, really, so much as it's you. I almost said sorry there, but didn't because that would be a lie. Just thought you'd like to know.
Sincerely,
Me
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